You had me at 'hello.'

marshmallowreina:

katherinearandez:

roseonabeach:

frostedsammy:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”

what

Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

It helps if you read it in the accents….

omfg

formerlybunsenturner:

firony:

bombprince:

melonlordn:

ieatgokudera:

EYELASHES YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO PREVENT SHIT FROM FALLING IN MY EYE BUT WHEN YOU FALL IN MY EYE THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO YOU WERE MY LAST LINE OF DEFENSE AND YOU BETRAYED ME

How eyeronic

get off my post

You don’t have to lash out

Eye see what you did there…

ikolism:

i love the whole “to boldly go where no man has gone before” thing b/c it kinda implies that women have already beaten them to the punch

filthypolak:

Indiana Jones and the Theft of Archaeological Artifacts of Great Cultural Significance from the Peoples (of Color) to Which they Rightly Belong

reallyreallyreallytrying:

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted